I couldn't help thinking of my sister as we discussed the lesson this week. My sister is a prime example of a mother who has experienced the pull to work outside of the home. She had her own accounting firm before she gave birth to her first child. It was when she went through the stresses of running her own business and raising a child that she was forced to define her priorities. She wanted to be a stay at home mom-for the time being. Even though the decision forced her and her husband to move away from family, so he could earn a higher income, she said she would do it again. She even left her hard-won business.
In class, we opened this discussion by analyzing what families have done throughout the history of the world. Until fairly recently, it seems that families were intimate owners of a shared business. Most people farmed a small amount of land (anywhere from 5-40 acres) where every person had a crucial part to play. Although the children might go to school 3-4 months out of the school year, the majority of their learning was administered by their parents. Until the industrial revolution, both parents remained at home. The more a country becomes modernized, the less the parents remain at home. The same is true with children. As a consequence for our innovation, the typical family spends more time away from one another than with each other. Also, children are no longer an asset. They are a liability and a hopeful investment.
The main person who is thought to stay at home is the mother. However, the majority of parents (around 60%) both work. I think that this is largely because of the society we live in. For the average American family, it takes two incomes to uphold the standard of living that is expected (and often needed).
Out of all of the lessons we have been taught this year, I have felt the most conflict with this one. I would consider myself an ambitious woman who would like a career. I would even be willing to go achieve more education than the bachelor's degree that I am currently seeking. I have grown up around mothers who are successful in their careers. In fact, I have a mother who made a tremendous impact where she worked. Simply put, I have always envisioned that I would enter the workforce.
This being said, I recognize that the research shows that homemaking mothers raise the healthiest children. For example, there are many studies that disprove the theory that day care enables children to grow socially. While the children in daycare may test to be socially superior to non-daycare children, the affects are not lasting. Instead, the non-day care children tend to be better off emotionally as adults, which translates into a better social life.
I would also like to remark that there are many credible studies that report non-homemaking mothers raising better/adequate children. This is one aspect that irked me in class. It seems that almost no credit was given to these studies. We ignored them entirely. However, I will concede that the overall consensus of our textbook was that stay at home mothers had more success with raising children.
I am still conflicted about what I plan to do as a mother. However, I have a feeling that I will choose the same as my sister, if I can. In fact, she often tells me about her plan to work when her children reach the appropriate school age. Fortunately, I have chosen a career with a high degree of flexibility. I may work part time while my children are young, then return to the work force. A more favorable option would be to wait until all of my children are of a certain age (like my sister)
. I realize that this may not be exactly in line with what my professor taught (that the only research that matters are those that advocate for a strictly homemaking mother), but this is how I was raised. I believe that it is best to adhere to the both sides of the research as best as one can. Hence, there are benefits of a mother that works, but spends more time with her children.